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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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But wait, it gets better. I’m waiting for a ride when I spot this cute girl. She’s walking her dog, and I’m trying to play it cool. I’m like, “Hey, nice pup!” She smiles, and I’m thinking, “Score!” But then, her dog decides to take a dump right in front of me. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, while she’s mortified. Classic Ovruch moment, right?

Russian troops bombed Zhytomyr region last night: dozens of houses in ruins, civilian casualites